singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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