Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
