I'll bet she douches with gravy.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
