Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
