No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
