; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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