It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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