The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
