i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
