So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
