We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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