I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
