dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
