We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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