one two three fourrrrnication!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize