HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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