I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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