I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
where am i from again
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
