Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Actions speak louder than pants.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
