It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
