I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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