An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
