I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
