I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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