During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
