I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
