she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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