We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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