Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
