I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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