He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
