If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she peed on how many people?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
