All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
