i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
