hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
