Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've blown a few things in my day
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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