After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
