Just fell off a train. Bad.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize