I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
