She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
