Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
