I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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