I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
