Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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