A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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