Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
