Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
