I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
