You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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