So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
