Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
