Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
