4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
