let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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