Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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