He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
