i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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