You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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