all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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