I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
