I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
