covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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