all she had left on were here heels. phone five
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
